...and six years ago today...

This is my son, Jerry. My "kitty" son, of course. The sad look on his face...as well as the fact that he looked too thin...is what makes this picture so painful for me to look at, to this day.

Six years ago today, I went to work, with nothing keeping me going other than what little adrenaline I had left. Jerry was still missing, so I was a wreck.

Then I went online and continued my search. Thank goodness, my supervisor was understanding enough to let me do that when there was nothing else to do.

I ran into that picture, and the ad, which had all of the contact information. They thought his name was Chester, and that he was only 14 months old (actually, he was 21 months old by that time; to this day, he's young for his age). I emailed and called, and by that night--May 29, 2003--six years ago tonight--my Jerry was home at last. I cried like you wouldn't believe when I first saw him!! But, they were tears of relief, if that makes any sense.

Life isn't always easy....it's how we muddle our way through that counts.

And Jerry, Mup, and Tony are all in a safe and loving home with their human Grandmama and their human Grandpapa. That's a good thing...one less thing for me to worry about here, as I work on having a nice, productive life here. I will visit T, J, and M frequently...but I'd much rather live here.

Well...speaking of muddling through life...that's what I've gotta do now.

Ta-ta for now~~~~

(poof.)

Six years ago today...

Not that it's the best thing to remember, but in my story of "Project Jerry", it's one of the many pieces of the puzzle, if you will.
Six years ago today, I was in the kitchen, in this house in fact, with Mup watching me intently. I was already stressed out over something or other, and on top of that, Jerry was still missing after four weeks. So, I snapped. I was crying, and I told Mup, "Jerry's dead. They cut his head off." I have NO idea why I said that!!! I really don't. That was what my biggest fear was, I suppose...that someone might have actually done that to my little Jerry...Mup's triplet brother. Then, altogether too swiftly, I held a kitchen knife to my wrist. I didn't put it through my wrist, but God knows I felt like doing so. Looking at Mup, who was studying me, was what stopped me. Otherwise, who knows...I wouldn't have lived to be on dialysis for two years and nearly lose my life to peritonitis or dehydration or whatever. I wouldn't have lived to have my wonderful figure back (you'll just have to wait till I put that picture of me in a tiger suit up here, if you don't believe that one!!! I look SO HOT in that tiger suit!! PURRRRRRRR!!)
Of course, two days later, my Jerry was returned to me. Thank God for that miracle!!! So...never, ever underestimate the power of prayer! That's the lesson in all of that!
By the way....it'd better not bring me bad luck, the way I quoted what I told Mup, six years ago today. Damn, if anything happens to my little Jerry, or to his siblings, because I put that in writing...
Know what??? As I said, never underestimate the power of prayer...so let's keep my furbabies in our prayers!!! Thank you soooo much!
Ta-Ta!
(poof)

Hmmmmm...

Happy Memorial Day weekend, from "down the coast"--in San Diego!!!
I've made up my mind. I'm not going to let ANYONE rattle my cage.
The way I see it, having my transplant cancelled at the last minute was enough of a disappointment; I don't need to take any more disappointments from anyone for about 5 more years!!!
My mantra??? Sing with me: "ra da da da da".
(if you don't know, that's from "Chanson D'Amour"--which is possibly in my Top 200 favorite songs...well, the Top 120 or so are reserved for Bobby Jameson).
ra da da da da
(if you haven't figured it out, I mean to really get in to this mantra thing and not let anyone rattle my cage.)
Well...as I said, Happy Memorial Day!!!
Ta-Ta for now!!

Just checking in.

I think I can safely presume that no one is reading this, but in case I have even one reader, I just thought I'd check in, as it's been a while.
I really am loving it here, in San Diego, and am hoping I can stay permanently--not just till Aug. 29, which is the current plan. Boy would I ever love to make it permanent!!! I missed it here!!!
Let's see...
Here's some kitty pics.

The first is my Tony & Jerry--taken in Cleveland last September.


























The second is me and Mup, taken here--in San Diego--in Dec. 2006. This picture was in this computer all of this time; I almost forgot it but was browsing through my pictures on here the other night and ran into this one, and I'm glad I did!! My kidneys only had about 11% function left, and I hadn't started dialysis yet...so technically, I should be healthier now, even though I have no kidneys and need dialysis to stay alive.

(That reminds me, I'm supposed to be networking and trying to find a living donor that can actually BE my donor!!!!)

The third picture is actually, physically, my favorite car in the whole world!!!! With Lexus wheels...however the front ones had to come off, as they were too big. But THAT is my favorite car in the whole world!!! Really...I've driven it many times before...and I just gave it a new radio. That was the least I could do. Oh, and in the background, is my Isuzu....you know...as in, http://www.vlsisuzurodeols.blogspot.com/, which of course is now this here. It's all coming back to me. I had started this blog to not only look for a kidney donor, but also to come out in the open with...WHY are there no more Isuzu dealers??? WHY must Isuzu owners go over to Honda and pretend like they own a Honda Passport???? WHY couldn't Isuzu have stayed in the U.S.???? I was going to explore that...but then got sidetracked with a nephrectomy and too much dialysis...etc., etc., etc.

























Picture #4 is Cousin. He's the possible cousin of my three little angels. Maybe you can see the family resemblance. Like my little angels, he's a very sweet and friendly kitty. He lets me pet him and everything.



























Oh, and picture #5....my teeth. Why???? Because I've been reunited with my retainer!!!!! Hell, I still remember it cost me $800 to have my bottom teeth straightened...might as well cherish my retainer now that I'm back with it!!!
















Honest, being in San Diego is really doing me good. My blood pressure hasn't dropped like it did all the time in Cleveland. I'm not gaining weight; I hope I'm losing weight (slowly of course). And I'm not tachycardiac! All in all, I'd say my body loves California just as much as my spirit does. But in Cleveland, I was beginning to lose spirit...

OK; back to the pictures.
Enjoy!
Ta-Ta for now! ;-)

Pics

See??? I TOLD ya I had a row of staples like that!!!!!

That's from one year ago today, was my surgery. May 11, 2008. That was Mother's Day,too...so SOMEONE must have given a damn about me, to think putting my stomach back together was not only an emergency, but an emergency worth interrupting someone's Mother's Day!!!
Think about THAT for a minute!!
So, as I was saying, I can definitely relate to having a row of staples like that. Whaddya say...Oy, vey!!!!!!!!!
As I recall well, it was painful as hell, too. I also felt like a damn piece of paper, with all those staples (23 or 24 altogether, if I remember right).
If it wasn't for the Percocet, which I took the maximum dose prescribed of, I think I would have been either crying, or ready to...I don't even know what. To this day, Percocet is the only painkiller that does any good for me when I can't take Excedrin. (FYI) I'm not saying that Percocet is the way for EVERYONE to go, but it works for me.
Now...one more pic.

At one time, my blog here was called http://vlsisuzurodeols.blogspot.com/, if you remember. Here's the car for which I had named it originally. I no longer own it, but I am in San Diego, visiting the owner, who is probably my best friend. So the other thing is, this proves that I'm "afk" this week, and possibly longer, as I do wish I had never left here.











I'll have some cat pictures when I come back, but at the moment, it looks like it's time to call it a night...and being in San Diego, at least I won't feel like being up till 4 AM.
Ta-ta, again, for now! ;-)

Greetings from San Diego....but NOT from a lady in good spirits!!!!!!

Hi'ya,
Well, as I said the other day, my transplant was cancelled.
Not rescheduled.
Not postponed.
Just...CANCELLED.
Da-YAM!!!!!!!
I could just do something drastic.
I'm very glad that I took this vacation when I did, because to be honest, I'm getting more than a little fed up with the way things are going back in Cleveland. It's NOT easy living in such a remarkably small house with two people who not only don't know as much as you do, but with whom you disagree on most issues!! I feel very out of place there, and not only that, but I also feel too oversheltered and too overprotected--and did I mention, I'll be 40 next year...
It's just not where I feel like I want to be anymore.
I'm very, very glad that my three cats have a safe and comfortable home there...
But, I'm honestly wishing that I never left San Diego!!! I honestly wish I didn't have to leave here (possibly on the 19th, possibly after that, since I don't have a transplant to rush back for!).
I honestly wish I could weasel my way back into living here permanently.
Consider this.
I've been through infection after infection. Twice, I almost died. And I even had to have emergency surgery last Mother's Day, to repair my stomach due to a perforated ulcer. Did the most dramatic of health issues happen here???? NO!!! They happened when I was stuck in Cleveland, with no invitation to get the hell out!!!!!!
Well, now, I'm rambling...but, the main thing is, I'm back to waiting....and waiting....and waiting...
So, this blog is once again for seeing if maybe I can network a little and find a living kidney donor that can actually BE my donor!!!!! Type A or Type O blood....can be in Cleveland, Ohio or San Diego, CA, because quite honestly, I don't really care. I plan to visit here FREQUENTLY, so I'm VERY open to receiving my transplant in California (I leave myself open to the whole state!!!!!!).
And, of course, for what it's worth, I just wanted to say, being in San Diego at the moment--just as at most other moments in my life--is just what the doctor ordered!!!!
You--take care!!
Da-YAM!!!! I feel like one of my only reasons for living (the thought that I might actually get a transplant before my birthday--June 16th) has been taken away from me!!!!! I am soooooo definitely considering just going to the roof of the Kaiser building (assuming I return to Cleveland as originally planned) and jumping off.
Well...I've gotta get going and see what I can do around here that's productive...YES, here, I am actually ALLOWED to do things that'll keep me productive--which is why I haven't been online much this week. Just thought I'd mention that for clarity.
Ta-ta for now!!!! Oh, and if you did stop to read this, I love you!!!!!! I'll be back later this week with new pictures!!!! :-)

Transplant Cancelled--Not Even Rescheduled--Just Cancelled--

My transplant coordinator told me the bad news. There was an issue with my donor, she said, and the whole thing--all my appointments, and my transplant--is cancelled.
Not even rescheduled.
Just cancelled.
DAMN!!!
I only have one thing to say.
I'm sooooooooooooooooo glad that one of the elevators at Fresenius goes up to the roof, because when I get back from my vacation, I'm going to throw myself off of that roof.
No transplant????????
At all????????????
Yes...those words in mind, throwing myself off the roof would only improve my health.
But--I'm still leaving for my vacation today.
However, I can't promise that I'll come back.
Ta-ta for now!!

May 9th...the 1-year anniversary of....

Just thought I'd mention a 1-year anniversary of mine, before I take off for a quick vacation to San Diego, before my transplant on the 20th.
For the record: I'll probably be the only person to come back to consciousness after a surgery like a kidney transplant, and resume all the prayers I've started here and now--for Bobby Jameson, who just had a birthday. He's in "recovery" mode at the moment, so he's in my prayers, as is his family. My love and hugs and kisses to all...and I shall resume sending my long-distance hugs, kisses, and prayers when I regain consciousness after my transplant.
Anyway, I'll probably be "afk" ("away from keyboard") most of the next couple of weeks. I plan to take my laptop to the hospital with me, but I don't plan on spending a lot of time online when I'm on my vacation.
So, I thought I'd mention that May 9th is exactly one year since I myself ended up in ICU, for the second time. The first time was last February. Twice in three months, I was in ICU, for peritonitis basically. In May, after continuing to get dizzy and pass out frequently, and after my blood pressure had continued to drop so low that it was a wonder I could walk at all, finally the peritonitis was causing me so much pain that it hurt to uncurl myself into a straight position and walk. So there I was...on the floor...reduced to crawling...curled up so as to lessen the pain as much as I could...but the thing was, I couldn't walk that way. So the South Euclid Fire Dept. had to come carry me into their squad thing and rush me over to Hillcrest Hospital. (If you lived anywhere in the area, even as far out as Chardon, you might remember Hillcrest--in Mayfield Heights). I was on "PD" ("Peritoneal dialysis", if you will recall from earlier posts of mine), so during my stay at Hillcrest, I had to stop "PD" and switch back to hemo, which has been a drag ever since. Apparently when you get peritonitis so many times, you end up not being allowed to be on "PD".
I remember that I had planned on visiting some friends of mine in Chicago...but I didn't get out of the hospital in time for that. So now, those ex-friends of mine don't even believe that I'm for real. I can hardly wait to prove to one and to all that I AM for real!!! Maybe not in person, but for real nonetheless!
I'll try to sneak back tomorrow with one more update for you before I take off.
And this time Tuesday night, I'll be in San Diego, visiting with the one person in the world who is still a true friend, and who has seen me in person, therefore who knows that I am a real person.
Ta-ta for now! ;-)