Hi'ya,
Well, as I said the other day, my transplant was cancelled.
Not rescheduled.
Not postponed.
Just...CANCELLED.
Da-YAM!!!!!!!
I could just do something drastic.
I'm very glad that I took this vacation when I did, because to be honest, I'm getting more than a little fed up with the way things are going back in Cleveland. It's NOT easy living in such a remarkably small house with two people who not only don't know as much as you do, but with whom you disagree on most issues!! I feel very out of place there, and not only that, but I also feel too oversheltered and too overprotected--and did I mention, I'll be 40 next year...
It's just not where I feel like I want to be anymore.
I'm very, very glad that my three cats have a safe and comfortable home there...
But, I'm honestly wishing that I never left San Diego!!! I honestly wish I didn't have to leave here (possibly on the 19th, possibly after that, since I don't have a transplant to rush back for!).
I honestly wish I could weasel my way back into living here permanently.
Consider this.
I've been through infection after infection. Twice, I almost died. And I even had to have emergency surgery last Mother's Day, to repair my stomach due to a perforated ulcer. Did the most dramatic of health issues happen here???? NO!!! They happened when I was stuck in Cleveland, with no invitation to get the hell out!!!!!!
Well, now, I'm rambling...but, the main thing is, I'm back to waiting....and waiting....and waiting...
So, this blog is once again for seeing if maybe I can network a little and find a living kidney donor that can actually BE my donor!!!!! Type A or Type O blood....can be in Cleveland, Ohio or San Diego, CA, because quite honestly, I don't really care. I plan to visit here FREQUENTLY, so I'm VERY open to receiving my transplant in California (I leave myself open to the whole state!!!!!!).
And, of course, for what it's worth, I just wanted to say, being in San Diego at the moment--just as at most other moments in my life--is just what the doctor ordered!!!!
You--take care!!
Da-YAM!!!! I feel like one of my only reasons for living (the thought that I might actually get a transplant before my birthday--June 16th) has been taken away from me!!!!! I am soooooo definitely considering just going to the roof of the Kaiser building (assuming I return to Cleveland as originally planned) and jumping off.
Well...I've gotta get going and see what I can do around here that's productive...YES, here, I am actually ALLOWED to do things that'll keep me productive--which is why I haven't been online much this week. Just thought I'd mention that for clarity.
Ta-ta for now!!!! Oh, and if you did stop to read this, I love you!!!!!! I'll be back later this week with new pictures!!!! :-)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Transplant Cancelled--Not Even Rescheduled--Just Cancelled--
My transplant coordinator told me the bad news. There was an issue with my donor, she said, and the whole thing--all my appointments, and my transplant--is cancelled.
Not even rescheduled.
Just cancelled.
DAMN!!!
I only have one thing to say.
I'm sooooooooooooooooo glad that one of the elevators at Fresenius goes up to the roof, because when I get back from my vacation, I'm going to throw myself off of that roof.
No transplant????????
At all????????????
Yes...those words in mind, throwing myself off the roof would only improve my health.
But--I'm still leaving for my vacation today.
However, I can't promise that I'll come back.
Ta-ta for now!!
Not even rescheduled.
Just cancelled.
DAMN!!!
I only have one thing to say.
I'm sooooooooooooooooo glad that one of the elevators at Fresenius goes up to the roof, because when I get back from my vacation, I'm going to throw myself off of that roof.
No transplant????????
At all????????????
Yes...those words in mind, throwing myself off the roof would only improve my health.
But--I'm still leaving for my vacation today.
However, I can't promise that I'll come back.
Ta-ta for now!!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
May 9th...the 1-year anniversary of....
Just thought I'd mention a 1-year anniversary of mine, before I take off for a quick vacation to San Diego, before my transplant on the 20th.
For the record: I'll probably be the only person to come back to consciousness after a surgery like a kidney transplant, and resume all the prayers I've started here and now--for Bobby Jameson, who just had a birthday. He's in "recovery" mode at the moment, so he's in my prayers, as is his family. My love and hugs and kisses to all...and I shall resume sending my long-distance hugs, kisses, and prayers when I regain consciousness after my transplant.
Anyway, I'll probably be "afk" ("away from keyboard") most of the next couple of weeks. I plan to take my laptop to the hospital with me, but I don't plan on spending a lot of time online when I'm on my vacation.
So, I thought I'd mention that May 9th is exactly one year since I myself ended up in ICU, for the second time. The first time was last February. Twice in three months, I was in ICU, for peritonitis basically. In May, after continuing to get dizzy and pass out frequently, and after my blood pressure had continued to drop so low that it was a wonder I could walk at all, finally the peritonitis was causing me so much pain that it hurt to uncurl myself into a straight position and walk. So there I was...on the floor...reduced to crawling...curled up so as to lessen the pain as much as I could...but the thing was, I couldn't walk that way. So the South Euclid Fire Dept. had to come carry me into their squad thing and rush me over to Hillcrest Hospital. (If you lived anywhere in the area, even as far out as Chardon, you might remember Hillcrest--in Mayfield Heights). I was on "PD" ("Peritoneal dialysis", if you will recall from earlier posts of mine), so during my stay at Hillcrest, I had to stop "PD" and switch back to hemo, which has been a drag ever since. Apparently when you get peritonitis so many times, you end up not being allowed to be on "PD".
I remember that I had planned on visiting some friends of mine in Chicago...but I didn't get out of the hospital in time for that. So now, those ex-friends of mine don't even believe that I'm for real. I can hardly wait to prove to one and to all that I AM for real!!! Maybe not in person, but for real nonetheless!
I'll try to sneak back tomorrow with one more update for you before I take off.
And this time Tuesday night, I'll be in San Diego, visiting with the one person in the world who is still a true friend, and who has seen me in person, therefore who knows that I am a real person.
Ta-ta for now! ;-)
For the record: I'll probably be the only person to come back to consciousness after a surgery like a kidney transplant, and resume all the prayers I've started here and now--for Bobby Jameson, who just had a birthday. He's in "recovery" mode at the moment, so he's in my prayers, as is his family. My love and hugs and kisses to all...and I shall resume sending my long-distance hugs, kisses, and prayers when I regain consciousness after my transplant.
Anyway, I'll probably be "afk" ("away from keyboard") most of the next couple of weeks. I plan to take my laptop to the hospital with me, but I don't plan on spending a lot of time online when I'm on my vacation.
So, I thought I'd mention that May 9th is exactly one year since I myself ended up in ICU, for the second time. The first time was last February. Twice in three months, I was in ICU, for peritonitis basically. In May, after continuing to get dizzy and pass out frequently, and after my blood pressure had continued to drop so low that it was a wonder I could walk at all, finally the peritonitis was causing me so much pain that it hurt to uncurl myself into a straight position and walk. So there I was...on the floor...reduced to crawling...curled up so as to lessen the pain as much as I could...but the thing was, I couldn't walk that way. So the South Euclid Fire Dept. had to come carry me into their squad thing and rush me over to Hillcrest Hospital. (If you lived anywhere in the area, even as far out as Chardon, you might remember Hillcrest--in Mayfield Heights). I was on "PD" ("Peritoneal dialysis", if you will recall from earlier posts of mine), so during my stay at Hillcrest, I had to stop "PD" and switch back to hemo, which has been a drag ever since. Apparently when you get peritonitis so many times, you end up not being allowed to be on "PD".
I remember that I had planned on visiting some friends of mine in Chicago...but I didn't get out of the hospital in time for that. So now, those ex-friends of mine don't even believe that I'm for real. I can hardly wait to prove to one and to all that I AM for real!!! Maybe not in person, but for real nonetheless!
I'll try to sneak back tomorrow with one more update for you before I take off.
And this time Tuesday night, I'll be in San Diego, visiting with the one person in the world who is still a true friend, and who has seen me in person, therefore who knows that I am a real person.
Ta-ta for now! ;-)
Monday, April 27, 2009
Apr. 28...the 6-year anniverary of....
I still remember all of this as if it were yesterday, and it still hurts.
Overnight--Apr. 27th/28th, 2003--Socks and Jerry both disappeared.
Monday, Apr. 28th, 2003: I had overslept slightly, so I really didn't have time to count kitty noses as I flew out of the house to go to work, but I did notice that two of the cats were missing--Socks and Jerry.
There was really nothing I could do, though, until I got home from work. So when I got home, I asked my roommate/boyfriend if he'd seen either Socks or Jerry, because I hadn't. Nope. No sign of either.
So the first thing I did was to go out on the patio and do everything that I could think of that might get one or both of them back. I swept the patio. Jerry loves to chase things (i.e., a moving broom), and I think Socks did also. Then I gave them a small saucer of milk, which either missing cat would have loved and come running to get. Likewise with the crunchies I gave them. Both missing cats loved crunchies. Jerry still does. Nothing worked. Nothing brought either cat out of hiding. So, my next idea was that if I went for a walk through the neighborhood and called their names and looked in every corner that I could legally get away with looking in, maybe they'd come home after they heard me calling their names. But...again, no luck.
I went to bed that night feeling like I didn't even want to go to sleep. My Jerry, and his brother Socks, were missing, and I was afraid that if I let myself sleep through the night, I'd miss out on being sure that they returned home safe and sound. It was the beginning of four and a half weeks (as it were) of feeling like a walking, talking wreck.
More later.
Oh--here's a picture of my Tony and Jerry at about 3 months old...in 2001, and also a picture of Mup and me, from 2004 (sorry for the poor quality!!).
Overnight--Apr. 27th/28th, 2003--Socks and Jerry both disappeared.
Monday, Apr. 28th, 2003: I had overslept slightly, so I really didn't have time to count kitty noses as I flew out of the house to go to work, but I did notice that two of the cats were missing--Socks and Jerry.
There was really nothing I could do, though, until I got home from work. So when I got home, I asked my roommate/boyfriend if he'd seen either Socks or Jerry, because I hadn't. Nope. No sign of either.
So the first thing I did was to go out on the patio and do everything that I could think of that might get one or both of them back. I swept the patio. Jerry loves to chase things (i.e., a moving broom), and I think Socks did also. Then I gave them a small saucer of milk, which either missing cat would have loved and come running to get. Likewise with the crunchies I gave them. Both missing cats loved crunchies. Jerry still does. Nothing worked. Nothing brought either cat out of hiding. So, my next idea was that if I went for a walk through the neighborhood and called their names and looked in every corner that I could legally get away with looking in, maybe they'd come home after they heard me calling their names. But...again, no luck.
I went to bed that night feeling like I didn't even want to go to sleep. My Jerry, and his brother Socks, were missing, and I was afraid that if I let myself sleep through the night, I'd miss out on being sure that they returned home safe and sound. It was the beginning of four and a half weeks (as it were) of feeling like a walking, talking wreck.
More later.
Oh--here's a picture of my Tony and Jerry at about 3 months old...in 2001, and also a picture of Mup and me, from 2004 (sorry for the poor quality!!).
Apr. 27th...the 6 year anniversary of....
Well, here it is. Apr. 27th.
This is the 6-year anniversary of the last time that I would ever give kitty dinner to all 9 cats, because overnight that night--or early Apr. 28th--both Socks and Jerry disappeared.
A month later, I would get Jerry back, but Socks never made it back. I hate to admit it, but the truth is that I really only had enough time and energy on my paws to search for one, although two were missing. And Jerry was the one I searched for, because he was the one I'd known since his Day One. I'd have loved to be able to search for Socks too, but between working full time and being so tired always, (evidently from kidney failure), my resources were limited.
Speaking of all of this, next week I'm planning on going to San Diego to visit my friend (ex-boyfriend/ex-roommate). I'm looking forward to this. THIS 38 year-old has got to fly the coop, even if it's just for a little while. I plan to leave on Cinco de Mayo...oh boy, that should be fun!! I just remembered, Cinco de Mayo in South San Diego is much like FIESTA NIGHT!! But maybe not this time, since it's a work night for many. Well...I survived Cinco de Mayo when I lived there; I'll survive it when I'm there to visit. But the thing is, I've been in need of a vacation for a long time now, and I've been meaning to get out there since February. If I can leave here on the 5th, or even if I have to wait till the 6th, either way, I'll be sure to get back on the 18th--in plenty of time for the pre-op on the 19th, and my transplant on the 20th. Yes. Audrey was right. May 20th will be here before we know it!!! And it'll only be for a week and a half or so, but I really need this vacation!
I'm planning on coming back here tomorrow...or later today....so, till then...
Here's a picture of Socks Clinton. Our Socks looked a lot like that, except with no black on his chin or nose.
OK, now I'm outta here for a while.
Love ya!!
This is the 6-year anniversary of the last time that I would ever give kitty dinner to all 9 cats, because overnight that night--or early Apr. 28th--both Socks and Jerry disappeared.
A month later, I would get Jerry back, but Socks never made it back. I hate to admit it, but the truth is that I really only had enough time and energy on my paws to search for one, although two were missing. And Jerry was the one I searched for, because he was the one I'd known since his Day One. I'd have loved to be able to search for Socks too, but between working full time and being so tired always, (evidently from kidney failure), my resources were limited.
Speaking of all of this, next week I'm planning on going to San Diego to visit my friend (ex-boyfriend/ex-roommate). I'm looking forward to this. THIS 38 year-old has got to fly the coop, even if it's just for a little while. I plan to leave on Cinco de Mayo...oh boy, that should be fun!! I just remembered, Cinco de Mayo in South San Diego is much like FIESTA NIGHT!! But maybe not this time, since it's a work night for many. Well...I survived Cinco de Mayo when I lived there; I'll survive it when I'm there to visit. But the thing is, I've been in need of a vacation for a long time now, and I've been meaning to get out there since February. If I can leave here on the 5th, or even if I have to wait till the 6th, either way, I'll be sure to get back on the 18th--in plenty of time for the pre-op on the 19th, and my transplant on the 20th. Yes. Audrey was right. May 20th will be here before we know it!!! And it'll only be for a week and a half or so, but I really need this vacation!
I'm planning on coming back here tomorrow...or later today....so, till then...
Here's a picture of Socks Clinton. Our Socks looked a lot like that, except with no black on his chin or nose.
OK, now I'm outta here for a while.
Love ya!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
MAY 20TH!! MAY 20TH!! WE'RE TRYING FOR A TRANSPLANT DATE OF MAY 20TH!!!!!
When I got home today, from dialysis and the dentist, there was a message from the Living Donors coordinator. She says she'd like to proceed with a surgery date of May 20th!!!
YES!!!!
Now you know, that works for me...so I left her a voice mail message to affirm.
As soon as I hear back from her again, all systems will be GO!!!!!
YES!!!!
YES!!!!
May 20th...exactly a month after Bobby's birthday...so once again...(never mind).
My job is to keep affirming that my transplant will be a success...and to keep disinfected!!!!!!
YES!!!
OK, OK, enough with the Yes's, I know.
I'm thrilled...Blue, but thrilled. Quite a combination...blue and thrilled. I've gotta admit, it's quite a trip.
Incredible!!! I've never received such good news in all my life!!!!
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaytah!
YES!!!!
Now you know, that works for me...so I left her a voice mail message to affirm.
As soon as I hear back from her again, all systems will be GO!!!!!
YES!!!!
YES!!!!
May 20th...exactly a month after Bobby's birthday...so once again...(never mind).
My job is to keep affirming that my transplant will be a success...and to keep disinfected!!!!!!
YES!!!
OK, OK, enough with the Yes's, I know.
I'm thrilled...Blue, but thrilled. Quite a combination...blue and thrilled. I've gotta admit, it's quite a trip.
Incredible!!! I've never received such good news in all my life!!!!
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaytah!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR RPJ, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
I know, I know, what are the odds that the birthday boy himself will happen to read this???
But, in case so, my birthday wishes will have reached him.
Happy Birthday, Bobby Jameson, and many, many more!!
My itinerary for tomorrow includes scheduling my transplant, and making an extra special birthday cake...I think I'll write, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RPJ" on it. That way there'll be room for it all.
Once I have a picture of said cake on my computer, I'll post it up here.
But for now, here's my birthday message to you.
Love ya!!
As promised, here's that cake.
By the way: I called to schedule my transplant, but by the time I got home, it was almost 4:00, so I ended up leaving a voice mail. I'll give it a couple days. If, by Wednesday, my call isn't returned, I'll call again. But yes, I did try to schedule today, so things once again are moving forward. Bobby, you've brought me nothing but good luck on the transplant front ever since we met. Thanks!!
Now...here's the cake. Note: I NEVER said my cake lettering was of professional quality!!! That, I never promised. All that I can promise is that you'll be able to read it.
Have a lovely, lovely rest of your birthday!!
But, in case so, my birthday wishes will have reached him.
Happy Birthday, Bobby Jameson, and many, many more!!
My itinerary for tomorrow includes scheduling my transplant, and making an extra special birthday cake...I think I'll write, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RPJ" on it. That way there'll be room for it all.
Once I have a picture of said cake on my computer, I'll post it up here.
But for now, here's my birthday message to you.
Love ya!!
As promised, here's that cake.
By the way: I called to schedule my transplant, but by the time I got home, it was almost 4:00, so I ended up leaving a voice mail. I'll give it a couple days. If, by Wednesday, my call isn't returned, I'll call again. But yes, I did try to schedule today, so things once again are moving forward. Bobby, you've brought me nothing but good luck on the transplant front ever since we met. Thanks!!
Now...here's the cake. Note: I NEVER said my cake lettering was of professional quality!!! That, I never promised. All that I can promise is that you'll be able to read it.
Have a lovely, lovely rest of your birthday!!
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