Another Day On The "Moonster"

I know. I keep ridiculous hours, don't I?
Well, that's what happens when you find a good writer who happens to be a night owl, and then you yourself can sleep through dialysis, as I did again today.
What a day, too! I started off treatment as usual, doing my crossword puzzle before my eyes got so tired that I just had to fall asleep, which is also usual. The unusual part was, that when it was over, I didn't want to get up out of that chair. First of all, I was still tired. Second, I've gotten used to having to stay in the chair a while to let my blood pressure go back up (when I say "go back up", I mean up from, say 86/48--I think that was a reading yesterday or the day before). So when I was allowed, even encouraged, to get the heck outta there, I was surprised, and not exactly ready. Apparently, today my blood pressure didn't get that low until I stood up for the first time.
Wonder why I call the machine a "moonster"?? That goes back to two years ago, when I first started "PD" (Peritoneal...). My cat, Tony, was scared silly of the PD machine, so I started calling it a "moonster"...for "monster". When I switched to hemo., I called that machine a "moonster" too. So there's the history of that.
Da-yam!! I'm supposed to be getting healthy for my transplant, and here I am with muscle aches and a general feeling that if a truck ran me over, I might perk up a little.
Oh well. Off to rest this bug off, and hopefully have four negative blood cultures starting yesterday, so that I can hurry in and get my transplant!!! God, I can hardly wait!!! I'll be so much healthier after my transplant, that I'll be just absolutely irresistibly gorgeous!!!!!!!!! (Consider that a fair warning.) ;-)
Laaaaaaaaaytah!!

One more month...and my eyes are way too damn tired for this!!!!

Yes, unfortunately, the word is that I get to wait until next month to schedule my transplant, because I have to wait three to four weeks after the antibiotic I'm on during treatment has stopped. And they don't want to stop it yet, and I have NO idea why!!! I thought we wanted me to get my transplant NOW, BEFORE my birthday!!! If we stretch this out too long, it'll be after my birthday after all.
I need to AFFIRM!!! If I don't AFFIRM, it won't happen. I'm affirming a Cinco De Mayo transplant!!!!! I need some cooperation here, but that's what I'm shooting for!!
Look at this.
I took this with my new WebCam.
My eyes are really starting to look worn out and tired, and here's why.
See...the fluid piles up all at once, then comes off all at once. Every two days, except on weekends, the fluid comes off all at once during treatment...then has two days to pile back up...off all at once, on all at once...like a damn yo-yo!!! Humans weren't made for that kind of trauma. My eyes are tired and worn out from being puffy with fluid one minute and damn normal the next. My poor little heart is probably getting tired of all of this, too. You have NO idea, do you, how I wish I could pee again!!! I hope I make up for all lost time and then some, as soon as I get my new kidney!!! For almost a year and a half now, I've even gotten the physical sensation that I've gotta pee...but of course, I haven't been able to. I can hardly wait till I can do that again!!!
THIS is why I thought I had to get in right away to get my transplant...so I won't have to go through THIS for much longer!!!
AFFIRM, AFFIRM, AFFIRM.....
Oh, and here's another picture I took the other night, too. My hair really is longer than it was a year or so ago; but it might not be as healthy as it once was. Notice that it looks like there are all kinds of gaps between my teeth. There are NOT. For some reason, my WebCam makes it look that way, but my teeth are almost perfect!!! Just wanted to spell that out for you. Let's face it. I won't have all of my beauty back until after my transplant....but then, look out, because I will DEFINITELY be an irresistible beauty!!! ;-)

...so what'll become of this blog???...Wellll.....

Just wanted to sneak back and see if I can answer the question of what'll ever become of this blog, as thank goodness, I've done what I set out to do, which was to find a living kidney donor.
Well...there's still my three wonderful cats to share stories about.
Let me start with two.
These go back a ways. Both of these tales have to do with Jerry...my "double miracle" kitty.
Summer, 2006: one time, I had to walk past Jerry to get my water glass. I told the little guy. And he answered, "Meow-Wa-Wa!" Naturally, this meant "water". I knew that. Smart cat.
And it got better. Also Summer, 2006: I was getting ready, quickly, to drive out to Chicago--actually, East Dundee, IL--to visit DJ Dick Biondi (for the record: that's Dick and me in my blog photo; that's from when I was there). I had already told my cats about this. Jerry replied, quite clearly, "Meow-WOW-i !!!!" This, of course, was his way of saying "Biondi". I knew that.
That's a start. More cat tales...er, ah...tails???....no....tales....to come.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

For starters, I thank my grandmother, whom we think has been watching over me today. I don't even remember being near her; she passed away at age 50--shortly before my 4th birthday.
We were going to visit this Swedish bakery that was supposed to be right by the Heinen's (one of the supermarkets here in Cleveland) where Grandma used to shop.
Well...we never did find that bakery, but we did stop in Heinen's for a few things.
My day started off wonderful, though. I just happened to be in the dining room when the phone rang. I answered. It was the Living Donors coordinator from the Cleveland Clinic!!!!!!! YES!!! Believe me, inside I'm jumping up and down with glee, even if I don't appear absolutely thrilled.
At first she said I'd want to schedule my transplant for maybe some time in May or June. Then, she confirmed that I have indeed just had a systemic infection, so she said that I'd want to not waste a single second...as soon as this infection is cleared up, I want to schedule the transplant right away!!!!!! This could be within a week, darlin'!!! YES!! YES!!!!
I want to take this opportunity to send out a big, heartfelt THANK YOU SO MUCH, to all of you who have kept me in your thoughts and prayers this whole time, and I hope you don't forget me after my transplant, because then, I won't have an immune system to speak of...so I'll be fragile, in a whole new way. But at least these two years of dialysis--and all of the nightmares related to dialysis--are finally coming to an end!!!!!!! YES!!! Thank you once again. If you're one of those who's kept me in your thoughts & prayers--and you know who you are!!--I thank you with all of my heart.
Take Care.

...and my wait for a kidney transplant gets longer....and longer...and longer.

Thought I'd sneak back here and give you the latest, along with kind of a timeline.
March 4th, my living donor was supposed to have finished his testing.
The following Tuesday, which was March 10th, the Transplant Committee at the Cleveland Clinic was supposed to have reached a decision as to whether he'd be a good donor for me.
He already passed all of his testing--for the second time, he told me.
So it's up to the Transplant Committee, and they've now had two weeks to decide.
If there's one thing I cannot stand to believe, it's that maybe this never really happened in the first place.
I mean, I've heard about not trusting someone unless you've met them in person.
But this guy was so damned honest!! And besides, what kind of a person would ever string someone in my position along like that!!!
That would be just too inhumane.
So, I'm left to believe that the Transplant Committee just doesn't want to let us know of their decision, or that they want me to wait 5 years after all, even with a living donor telling them that he wants to be my donor.
5 years...of infection after infection after infection, all related to dialysis?????
No thank you! I'll quit right now, if it's gonna come down to that.
And, I'm gonna close here.
To think, March is almost over. I was supposed to get my transplant already by now...and nothing is happening yet.
Laaaaaaaaater.

Too much negativity

Here's the thing.
Today, my "boys"--Tony & Jerry--were supposed to go to the "v-e-t" to have their dental cleaning today.
BUT--my dad, who's big on negative thinking, told my mom not to take them in until I'm out of the hospital.
This goes against my positive thinking, you see. Part of thinking positive about my transplant is to keep my calendar open, so that I don't have to keep canceling my other appointments.
You don't have to believe me if you don't want to, but I sat through Transplant 101, so I know two things: first of all, when it looks like your transplant (or mine, in this case) is close on the horizon, you've gotta keep your schedule open, because if you're tied up when they're ready to take you in, you'll miss your chance and end up waiting the usual 5+ years for a cadaver kidney. Second of all, while the donor is in and out relatively quickly, the recipient stays in the hospital for about 2 weeks.
And that's how it is.
I have NO idea now when we're supposed to get Tony & Jerry in for their dental cleaning, but I really didn't feel like postponing it for as long as it looks like we'll have to postpone it now, as I'm keeping my calendar open so that I don't miss my transplant.
I hate being in the hospital!!! I end up losing all control over everything when I'm in here!
I should be out of here either today or tomorrow, by the way. So that I can be ready for that, I'm going to close here and get freshened up (now there's a visual!).
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaater, gator! ;-)

Happy St. Paddy's Day!!

Somehow, I don't feel so lucky at all this St. Patrick's Day.
Yesterday, I had to be admitted (AGAIN) to the Cleveland Clinic.
I heard that I was one of the "overflow" patients, which means that I was supposed to be an outpatient, but they had too many other outpatients, so I'm an inpatient.
My nephrologist had told me that I'd be here for about 3 - 4 days. We shall see if that's the case. My surgeon told me that I'd be here for about 1 - 2 days.
Who knows. I'm under the impression that the right paw doesn't know what the left paw is doing.
Here's the scooperoni (again): I had a graft put in my right arm on Jan. 28th. Said graft was supposed to be a wonderful thing...practically the 8th wonder of the world. Last week or so ago, I went to have said graft unclotted, as it had suddenly stopped working the week before. But, this couldn't be done, as said graft had supposedly developed an infection. I did, indeed, test positive for another systemic infection. So...here I am. Said graft had to come out, faster than it went in. This means they again have to use the catheter for dialysis (of course), and also this means my arm, where the graft was, has to stay bandaged up because I couldn't be stitched back closed.
This makes for a longer recovery time than usual, which is what I'm doing here.
The surgery today went OK. I mean, I was put to sleep for it, so I have no idea what happened during the actual surgery. What I do know is that, when I woke up, I started crying. I don't mean a little. I mean, I was obviously and absolutely in tears. If I can put it this way, I cried myself awake. I had remembered that only a week or so ago, things weren't going well for me at all. That's what made me cry. I had managed, single-pawedly, to turn everything in my life upside-down, and so far, nothing I have been able to do has made anything better. Now, with limited Internet here, I'm almost powerless, but I'm doing the best I can.
Speaking of crying: yesterday, and again tonight, I've had to drink this awful stuff. It looks and tastes like medicated coffee. I've found that putting a ton of sugar and/or sweetener in it helps, but it's not a sure-fire cure. I'm putting off drinking it as best I can, but my nurse keeps coming in to see if I've taken it yet. This God-awful junk is supposed to lower my potassium, which has somehow gotten high apparently. It sure would be nice if there was such a thing as potassium binders, that I could take just like I take my phosphate binders. I hate this junk!!!!! I guess, if my headache ever clears up, I'll just do a "down the hatch" type maneuver...IF my headache clears up, because I find it hard to drink anything fast when I have a headache. This stuff even smells horrible!!! I feel like I've died and gone to hell here! And, I'm getting nauseous again. And, the Morphine hasn't yet helped any of the pain.
Did I ever mention...I'm sure I did...that I'm sooooooooooooo past sick and tired of all of this dialysis-related B.S.????? Yes. I seem to recall pointing that out.
DAMN!!
Although I just took two Percocets, being without painkillers for so long has made the pain almost unbearable, though at least I can still type.
Thanks to another splitting headache, I just asked for Morphine. That should help all of the pain I'm having. I wish I could take Morphine on a daily basis...not just when I'm here.
I'm in a wing with very limited Internet. Some of my favorite websites, I can check on my cell phone (Wireless Web, from Verizon). Email, I can still do from my computer. WLS-FM, my favorite radio station which I can only listen to online because it's in Chicago, will have to wait till I get home. This sucks. If I hadn't brought a Dick Biondi aircheck CD with me to listen to, I'd have to be Biondi-less. That's no fun at all; I've put myself through that before. FYI: I met Dick in person once, three years ago; we've kept in touch by phone before (until my last birthday, that is). He's a wonderful, wonderful person. This world would be a much better place if there were more people like Dick Biondi in it...if you happen to feel up to it, you can let him know I said that, and I mean it.
So anyway...I came by here to wish you a very, very Happy St. Patrick's Day. Personally, I don't have enough Irish blood in me to fill a thimble, but if someone wished me a Happy St. Patrick's Day, I'd be appreciative. Just a thought.
Enjoy this little Irish kitten, will ya??
And, as long as I'm here, I'll check back when I can. I presume I'll be home by next Monday. Damn, I hate being in the hospital for a whole week when I feel "fit as a fiddle"!!!!!!!! This is nuts! Just get me outta here and let's treat the infection on an outpatient basis again!!!!! (oops; sorry; I wasn't talking to you!)
Take Care!